Speaking boldly – between small talk and substance
Taking courage means putting your goals into words. Just give it a try. Often, the first step comes at the very moment when we turn a thought into a clear "I want."
Speaking boldly – between small talk and substance
Words have an immediate effect. Even before we understand and process a statement, we feel it: 60% of the perceived message is based on nonverbal signals. (Source: Mehrabian, A. 1971. Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes.)
Our limbic system and mirror neurons register subtle cues from the person we are talking to. What does their tone of voice reveal? What does their body language say? At this very moment, we subconsciously decide whether to trust or defend ourselves. Only then do we analyze what was actually said and how it was said.
Words shape reality
Language is more than just information—it is attitude in motion. It reveals what we think: about others, but also about ourselves. Listen to yourself when you talk to yourself. Do you often hiss a cynical "Well done!" at yourself? Or do you praise yourself with a "That went great!", secretly, rarely, but sincerely? How you talk to yourself shapes how you talk to others. So be brave – be kind to yourself! It makes many things easier. Including communication with others.
"Words are not mirrors, they are frames. They determine what we perceive."
(Georg Lakoff, Don't Think of an Elephant!, 2004 )
So, is bold language about always being nice and positive? Not at all. Nor is it about always being the first to speak. With the most words. And the sharpest criticism.
What constitutes courageous language?
1. It is clear, but not cold.
Courageous language avoids clichés and hints. Those who speak courageously formulate their words in a way that is comprehensible and verifiable. Saying "I need a decision by tomorrow" is more honest and efficient than saying "It would be nice if we could have something soon." Clarity is not a lack of friendliness, but an expression of respect: it shows that you take the other person seriously.
2. She asks questions instead of making assertions.
Courageous language seeks dialogue, not confirmation. Instead of putting forward theories and condemning statements, it invites people to share perspectives. Saying "That won't work" doesn't work. Saying "Can you explain in more detail how you imagined that?" is more effective. Because it signals cooperation instead of confrontation – and participation instead of obstruction.
3. She names things without accusing anyone.
Courageous language tells it like it is—without pointing fingers. It's not about saying, "It's your fault that the project is delayed," but rather, "We're falling behind, let's think about how we can catch up together." This turns supposed complaining into a conversation. And chaos is seen as an opportunity.
4. It requires vulnerability—and signals trust.
Courageous language makes you vulnerable. Because if you say what you think, you risk contradiction, rejection, and criticism. At the same time, this signals confidence in your own position and in the other person. Statements such as "I see a potential problem here. What do you think?" clearly say: I dare to show my perspective. And I would like to hear yours.
Talk less, say more
Our world is characterized by speed, pressure, and communicative multitasking: we listen, type, scroll, talk—and quickly lose sight of what we actually want to say. Speech becomes a reflex: the main thing is to have said something and for someone to have heard it.
Speaking courageously means taking time: to listen, to reflect, and to choose our words so that they have an impact. This does not require a big stage. It only requires attention: pausing before responding, thinking over a statement—and having the composure to say nothing if the right words are not yet available.
Perhaps that is the simplest form of courage there is: no longer talking to be heard, but speaking to be understood.
